Faith-Based Guest Article by Homeschool Dad, Gabriel Morse
It is no secret that life is a battle. Every day, and sometimes hour to hour, we are faced with a series of new and continuing problems and challenges. If you are a living, breathing human in this modern age, you are being overrun with too much fast-paced life; too many conflicting responsibilities in too many different directions, too much data, and too many expectations. Who can keep up with all the chores, children, homeschooling, meal preparation, career, marriage, sickness and injuries, church responsibilities, friends, unexpected visitors, bills, taxes, car repairs, house repairs, neighborhood disputes, tense holidays, exhausting vacations, issues with extended family, etc, etc, etc . . . and phewwww, just too much of too much? The nights are far too short while each jam-packed day goes whipping by like a dizzying merry-go-round in the fog.
“O” – Observe (so you can make an Accurate Assessment)
Did I say that life was a battle? Actually, a more accurate statement is that life can be a war. The difference? A battle consists of just one time, place, enemy, and issue. A war consists of many battles across time, location, types of enemies, and issues. Yes, my friend, you and I are definitely in a war. A war in which we often do not feel trained or prepared, let alone capable of victory. Even if you do not want to admit it to anyone else, I can almost guarantee the stress of it keeps you awake at night and exhausted all day. So, as the person in charge of dealing with training up children with Godly character and purpose, how do you deal with all of this?
So, welcome! The intensity of the challenge you are facing is because you’ve been promoted through the ranks from private to sergeant, from clueless newbie to a cross between a babysitter and a drill sergeant. Congratulations! With more rank comes much more responsibility. By experience, you’ve already figured out that the sergeants do the heavy lifting and serve as the backbone of the unit. Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Few if any of us understood what that meant when we adoringly held our child for the first time and promised to do the best we could to take care of them. It’s not until they reach school age that we’re shocked to discover that it also means leading unruly, untrained rebel(s) across an educational battle front we struggled through not so long ago ourselves.
“O” – Orientate (based on Identity, Purpose, and Position)
Remember you’re the troop leader, not the commander or the private. So, how and what does a good sergeant do, especially when facing a challenge? Well, it’s definitely not getting mired in troop complaints, enemy deceptions, or “allies” over-helpful distraction. So, how do you do that?
That begins with understanding your identity, role, and mission, and ensuring you and your “troops” act accordingly. Understand that though you play a role, you’re also not ultimately in charge. God is our commander, and from Him comes our identity, purpose, and measure of success. First of all, you have your delegated authority to lead and to make the best decisions for your troops based on what you’ve proven and know to be true. Doesn’t matter how you feel at the moment, what others say, or what mistakes you’ve already made. You were given the job and the responsibility, not someone else.
We are often so exhausted maintaining the daily responsibilities/ tactics we’ve forgotten our place. Our commander is not only in charge of the winning strategy, but understands His homeschooling “sergeants’” capabilities, challenges, and needs better than we do ourselves.
In plain English, that means that while we’re stressing over the necessary details of our child’s Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, and whether we are doing it right, God is not stressing. Instead, He expects us to do our best and listen to Him because He’s still ultimately in charge and responsible for the outcome, including giving you the responsibility you have.
“D” – Determine (what to do)
Just take a moment to let that entire concept sink in. Learning that my delegated authority came to me through my commander for a specific purpose, despite my fears, mistakes, and criticism and that I was still entrusted to act accordingly was one of the biggest lessons of my military career. I will always be grateful to the crusty old Command Sergeant Major who gruffly reminded me of that truth. Never forget that your authority is delegated by someone far greater than yourself, and it remains despite all of the challenges and COMPLAINTS until He sees fit to promote or demote you. From experience, I can tell you that a good commander expects you to make mistakes – to learn from them, wipe the dirt off your face and crawl back to your feet – and then prepare to act more wisely and decisively upon that experience.
Remember, the big picture is not just that your child gains a college degree or succeeds in their future profession. Do we want our children to be smart, capable, and successful? Absolutely! Those are good things, and I’m not downplaying them. Yet if they are our ultimate goal, though, we’ve missed the mark. Teach your children the educational basics that they need to do well in their lives, careers, and with their future families. But don’t forget as the homeschool parent/ team leader to develop them spiritually, emotionally, and physically as well as mentally as well.
I’m not talking about abstract concepts. Because we act based on our identity and purpose, our success and effectiveness come from that. I mean, no one is expecting you to be the world’s best astronaut, NASCAR driver, pastor, genius, CEO, or president of the United States – except for maybe grandma. With all respect to her, though, realistically, most of us will never attain those roles, and we aren’t held to those standards of success either. Our Heavenly Commander-in-Chief isn’t slapping his forehead and rolling his eyes that we didn’t gain some special job or title either. What He cares about is how we honor Him with what we’ve been given. Remember the parable of the Talents from the book of Matthew, where the master gives each of his servants a different amount of money (talents) for them to use, and then measures their success based on that rather than what he gave the others?
“A” – Act (on what is true)
God cares more that we honor Him by doing our best at school, work, home and in society than that we focus on making lots of money, gaining important titles or becoming famous. How we act with what we’ve been given is crucial. Are we demonstrating and teaching our children faith, ethics, hard work, and character as well as the dates and causes of the Peloponnesian War, the correct use of the past participle, or finding the volume of a cylinder?
Some of you will prefer to do this strictly with official textbooks. Some may make use of local Co-ops. I know there are those who like to mix in a whole variety of methods and systems. Good for you. Use the tools that work for you and your students. Just never forget to instill in them their correct identity and purpose, just like the good team leader I know that you are. Then don’t worry if they choose a different college, job title or socio-economic level than what you were expecting. God does some pretty amazing things with those who learn and act on their identity and purpose in Him. And that is worth more than all the money, power, and titles in the world.
So even if you are seemingly bogged down in the day-to-day battles and you feel as if you are losing the war, remember that your commander has delegated you the authority to fight and to win. He knows the challenges you are facing, and He’s using them to develop you and the little troops that follow you to do more than just memorize dates or grammar rules. It’s also only His measure of success that matters. Just remember who you are, sergeant, and do the OODA Loop. You’ll do great.
More About the Author:
Gabriel is a former homeschooled missionary kid and homeschooling father who adores his wife, children, and grandchildren. He is currently rebuilding a 130-year-old homestead, writing a historical fiction book on character for young people, and mentoring young men. He is a former U.S. Marine Corps Combat Correspondent, Army National Guard Photographer, and U.S. Army Deputy Public Affairs representative and holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communication. He lived in Central America during Junior High and served on military short and long-term assignments across the U.S. and in half a dozen countries, including Iraq, during his military career. Besides his deep faith and his family, his passion is writing and developing young men into capable steward leaders. You can find Gabriel on Instagram here.
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