Guest author Gabriel Morse is back with another post filled with encouragement for homeschool parents. Enjoy! I know I did!
We need to have a talk – an intervention kind of talk. You see, I need your help. I’ve got to get this off my chest. This is one of those subjects that keeps me up at night. Like tonight, when my beautiful bride thinks I’m still snoring away next to her, and I’m going to get the look when she wakes up in the morning and realizes what kind of havoc I’ve been up to in the middle of the night again.
So what’s so important that it keeps me awake all night? Well, you see I haven’t been living up to expectations. Neither have you. Nor you, or you, or that other homeschooling family you know from church. Not even the ones who are writing the articles helping you with your homeschooling journey. (Here is where you should be giving that shocked expression with a hand over your mouth, and saying, “I knew it. He’s been a fake all along.”)
Yep. Say it to yourself a few more times really slowly so that it sinks in. If you are prone to fainting, please lie down on a soft couch. Only keep reading if you dare. If you are curious, in need of oxygen due to laughing, or staying with me because you want answers rather than assume what I’m about to say – you are my kind of people. You’re also most likely to understand what I’m about to say. I’VE FAILED. YOU’VE FAILED. WE’VE ALL FAILED!
Yikes. Okay I’ll admit that those last three all-capital letter sentences sound like a fractured children’s nursery rhyme somehow. Truth be told, the whole situation does remind me of some of those rather disturbing Medieval tunes.
Admitting Failure is Not Defeat
So, did I mention that I’ve failed already – repeatedly and quite miserably? I’m working on my professional certification to be honest. Tonight, it’s keeping me awake. Maybe that’s because the results of it popped up in an interaction with one of my children unexpectedly today and brazenly stated, “Here’s mud in your eye.” The unexpected reminder and the obvious lack of training in that area in my child’s life was made starkly 
clear. The issue? Oh, well the specific topic isn’t the point, what is is that it’s an area that I was too busy, too distracted, and too full of myself (I’m sure) to teach correctly years ago when it would have been much, much simpler.
It really doesn’t matter if it is a primary school subject, social interaction, character, life application, or depth of faith. Any of those areas can and do have negative affects on our children. That moment of realization is where the life classroom of parenthood moves from basic addition and subtraction to glimpsing how a basic error in our personal Algebraic formula creates an incorrect generational outcome. Just imagine an Algebraic formula where you, your child, their future, their education, societal expectations, and your grandchildren are put in place of each X,Y, or Z element.
Stated that way, the final solution can create some distress. How’s that for a mental picture? Can I get a raised hand and a testimony from anyone else realizing and dealing with this same kind of issue? Anyone else willing to admit to these sins of our homeschooling youth and join me in confession?
The “Perfect” Schooling Method?
You know though, somewhere, at some point ALL of us, especially ME, have messed up through omission or commission while teaching our children. Maybe we haven’t taught something right or failed to make sure our child/student actually grasped the subject. For some, it’s knowing that we were a horrible student ourselves in that specific subject. And trust me, your own conscience, other school systems, over-helpful know-it-alls, and your children will remind you of that – routinely. Should realizing the issue make us quit homeschooling? MOST DEFINITELY NOT! If perfection was the standard for any type of education system, there isn’t one that would remain standing.
The vast majority of people I deal with every day come from the Public School system where cheating, disrespect, atheism, socialism, overworked teachers, bell curve grading, peer pressure, bullying, drugs, and sex are just some of the things they struggle with. Just ask the average college student basic questions about American History or Politics. Don’t bother asking them about current events unless you want to feel desperate about the future of our country.
So now that we’re done giving Public Schoolers a black eye, what about Christian or Private schools? Well, depending on the school and the student – you normally have a decreased amount of disrespect, atheistic confusion, socialism, drugs, and sex. You still find overworked/underpaid teachers, bell-curve grading, peer pressure and other issues. I’ve known multiple schools where cheating was extensive. Generally though, students generally do better socially and in most educational subjects.
So where do I begin and end with boarding schools? Let me just say that I and others very close to me are still dealing with or are currently helping those who survived boarding schools. You read that last statement correctly. I’m not going to pull any punches here. I am not a fan. Yes, there are plenty of former boarding school students who have gone on to be successful in life. The cost far outweighs the positives for me though. I and others in my personal circle know of endless lists of victims who have been scarred and traumatized by being in that type of setting without the God-mandated direct protection and oversight of parents. From my experience, though cheating was at a minimum; bullying and every form of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and sexual abuse were common. Dissociative issues where former students struggle to strongly bond to even family members is very high. I know I’m going to have haters regarding boarding schools. Bring it on. Those who are struggling with the issue know that I’m not exaggerating. My compassion and prayers are with them. Please, if you are considering this option, I can’t say it strongly enough – remember that your child’s health, safety and character is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Ignore the ridicule and either homeschool or have your children tutored if at all possible. Enough said for now.
Keep Moving Forward
Soooooo . . . . have I failed again and again in more than one area? Yes. I have. I’d just like to say, “Hi, my name is Gabe and I am here today because I have a parenting/ teaching problem.” I’m human. I’m broken. I don’t know everything. I get lazy. I’m a workaholic. I get distracted. I let myself get bullied by peer pressure. By default (and brains) my sweet wife has been the primary teacher while I’ve acted more like the gum chewing part-time assistant.
I hereby apologize to those I love for my failures at teaching – firstly to my wife, and then to my children and grandchildren. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I value your forgiveness and your patience with me. I know that you’ll make mistakes too now and in the future, but do your very best to deal with them. You can bring victory from ashes if you are willing to be honest and work to correct them. It’s one of the reasons I love the concept of “Redemption” so much. When you take my place, remember that you are investing in one of the greatest treasures we are blessed with in this mortal life – family. And that is worth every bit of humble pie you will need to endure. 
Now with that over-sized piece of humble pie still on my plate, am I still glad that my children have been homeschooled? Absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt. Of all the things they have to deal with in life, they never had to deal with a whole host of problems they might have faced otherwise. Was their mother an overworked, underpaid teacher with an often absent administrator? Yes. Do I know some of them managed to cheat a few times until they got caught or confessed? Yes. (And you know that I know that you know who you are.) Did they have lots of extra responsibilities that sometimes limited their outside the home social activities? Yes. Were they cared for, respected, well-trained and loved? YES! Are they succeeding in life because of what they learned in homeschool? Yes!
I’m proud of every single one of them though; who they are becoming as individuals and what they are choosing to do with their lives and their education. I’m especially proud of my wonderful wife for carrying the heavy load all these years and filling in extensively where I dropped the ball. I’m grateful that we all love each other and have each other’s back, even in our shortcomings. I admit to being guilty of being a broken homeschooling dad who is still grateful for the opportunity and even the kind of challenges homeschooling brings versus how it could be otherwise.
I’m not saying I’m comfortable with the shortcomings I’ve created, but seeing the comparison to other school choice outcomes helps me keep things in perspective. I hope you’ll remember that too. Keep your chin up. Keep fighting forward. I’m going to go find a pillow and get some rest so I’m ready for the next challenge.
More About the Author:
Gabriel is a former homeschooled missionary kid and homeschooling father who adores his wife, children, and grandchildren. He is currently rebuilding a 130-year-old homestead, writing a historical fiction book on character for young people, and mentoring young men. He is a former U.S. Marine Corps Combat Correspondent, Army National Guard Photographer, and U.S. Army Deputy Public Affairs representative and holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communication. He lived in Central America during Junior High and served on military short and long-term assignments across the U.S. and in half a dozen countries, including Iraq during his military career. Besides his deep faith and his family, his passion is writing and developing young men into capable steward leaders.
The post The Talk – An Admission of Guilt first appeared on Homeschool .com.
Read More [[{“value”:”Guest author Gabriel Morse is back with encouragement for homeschooling parents when confronted with our failures. Failure doesn’t mean defeat! Keep going!
The post The Talk – An Admission of Guilt first appeared on Homeschool .com.”}]]
Volunteer Contributors, guest post, homeschool encouragement, homeschooling advice, parenting encouragement Homeschool .com