If I am Brave, She is Brave – The Power of Modelling Behaviour ~
Written by Debbie Douse of An Adventurous Education
I am Brave
I am frozen to the spot; terror fills my every fibre. My feet are jammed into the metal staple on the sheer cliff side, legs shaking, my hands grasping on tight to the staple above.
I dare not look down at my feet. At the acres of nothingness that falls between them and the ground. Instead, I look across.
There, calmly dangling off the mountain ahead is my 14-year-old girl, my precious baby, leaning out and back to help her best friend navigate this tricky section of the Via Ferrata, seemingly without a care in the world.
Knowing my fear of heights, she’d tentatively suggested this adrenaline-fueled activity as a birthday treat, followed swiftly with, “But if it’s too much for you Mummy, we don’t have to do it.”
Now I was somewhat regretting my eagerness to please with the words, “Yes, why not!”
All I could do was focus on my breath. In and out. While I tried to block the repetitive internal dialogue of, “Why, why do you do these crazy things?!”
But, after stretching, scrambling and hoisting ourselves along cliff edges, vertical climbs and an infinity bridge, we finally reached the end.
Rosie threw her arms around me, shouting, “I’m so proud of you Mummy!” I promptly burst into tears.
She is Brave
Fast forward a week and we’re presented with a different moment. Rosie, an acting fanatic, had been offered the opportunity to attend a Youth Creative Convention at the home of Shakespeare, Stratford-Upon-Avon.
The sting: A six-hour round trip on a coach with a group of older teens she’s never met, but who know each other well.
The idea of everyone else having friends, of no-one talking to her for six hours and feeling conspicuously alone nearly overwhelmed her. I left it up to her to decide.
Later, she sidled up to me and courageously said, “Mummy, I’m going to do this. You faced your fears on that mountainside, and you’ve inspired me. So, I am going to be brave too. But I’m going to download some films so that if I’m left alone, I can be happy watching them without feeling like I need to be part of the group.”
In that moment, I stared at my girl in awe – Brave enough to not let fear stand in her way but smart enough to put in a backup strategy!
But I was also floored by this thought: Seeing me brave had given Rosie the fuel to do the same.
On her return, I knew just by looking into her eyes that it had been a success.
The convention was inspiring and the big scary coach turned out to be a small minibus. The other children were unanimously friendly and not knitted into an impenetrable clique as she had dreaded.
She had shown up and faced her fears.
Daily Brave Choices
Instinctively we all know that as parents, we are our children’s first and biggest role models. Thus, it should follow that we spend time on our own development, growing to become better versions of ourselves.
But how much energy and time do we really spend on this? “Very little,” is my honest answer.
So I’ve started to consciously make a brave choice each day, and share them with Rosie. This has included establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with certain individuals, a spontaneous solo theatre trip, facing up to healthy anxiety, and recording my first podcast!
Inspired, she too started her own daily brave journey.
My favourite example of hers is a new evening acting class in London. Travelling there alone on trains, the Tube and through dark streets, she’s stretched both of our brave boundaries to the maximum and come out beaming!
*****
What if being brave is not just about the big adventures we plan for holidays or vacations?
It can also be seen as pushing yourself out of the safe option of doing what you always do, behaving the way you always behave and thinking the way you always think. It’s about stopping and considering a different path.
Is there one tiny brave choice you can make and share with your kids today?
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If I am Brave, She is Brave – The Power of Modelling Behaviour ~ Written by Debbie Douse of An Adventurous Education I am Brave I am frozen to the spot; terror fills my every fibre. My feet are jammed into the metal staple on the sheer cliff side, legs shaking, my hands grasping on … Read More a mom’s education, character education Simple Homeschool